better than juliette
admit this.
though it seems shallow, the thought of ‘having to be better, prettier, skinnier, smarter, better in bed, better in everything than other chicks’ creeps in our veins, as women. no matter how many times we say “I’m my own person, I’m perfect the way I am. I’m super confident that I don’t need to be somebody else, I am who I am”, at least twice a week, I bet the thoughts of insecurities fly around your head like chirping birds who just won’t shut up. (especially during PMS)
we don’t speak of them of course, but they’re there. and it’s normal.
I have a giant lightbulb on my forehead that says “insecurity” too sometimes.
It doesn’t have an on-and-off switch, so we gotta work hard to fight it .
what happened to us in the past, the decisions we’ve made, what we used to tolerate, what others have done or said to us – each of them have helped shaping us into the person that we are today. and it’s our choice to filter them so that they won’t backfire now.
I realize this as I begin to jump into a committed relationship. these thoughts seem to be bugging me. well, I ain’t complaining. it’s the consequence of my past 
and I’ve accepted that fact.
but hey, that doesn’t mean we have to settle in this state of mind right? we deserve the best and we can never get the best in life, if we don’t see ourselves from the best perspective (that of our Maker, of course).
don’t even dream about loving again, if you can’t even love yourself the way God loves you.
you’ll end up in the endless pity-partying session that would generate jealousy, being overprotective, being nagging, being negative, and lastly, you’ll end up losing yourself.
okay maybe not as insecure as the picture here. but u get what i’m saying. if you think relationships will solve your personal issues, honey, it magnifies them instead! and you have to deal with it urself, so you won’t drag your partner to a blackhole. you love him too much to do that don’t you?
I used to cover up my insecurities by being cocky. that didn’t do, I’m telling you.being a cocky bitch made it worse. cause the reason we, cocky bitches usually boast on to kill our insecurities is how many men lust over us.
dude, that’s actually low.
I, myself, didn’t do it deliberately, I did it even without realizing it. and I’m not ashamed to say I did cause I learned from it.
now, I’ve put it all behind me. I want to run forward, see myself the way my maker sees me. because doing so transforms us from the inside. and when you’re transformed, you would love differently you’re gonna be the best lover that you can be. better than Juliette, better than Rose Dawson, better than Bella Swan without even trying 
boom baby. that’s what’s up.
