We’ve got difficulties ahead, but it really don’t matter to me now, cause I’ve been to the mountain top. and I don’t mind.  Like anybody I would like to live a long life. But I’m not concerned about it now. I just wanna do God’s will. and He’s allowed me to go the mountain. I’ve looked over. I’ve seen the promise land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we’ll get to the promise land!!! So I’m happy tonight, I’m not worried about anything, I’m not fearing any man. My eyes have seen he glory of the coming of the Lord.

— the speech of the great Dr. King on the night before he was assassinated in April 4, 1968

though he grew up in a pastor’s home, MLK jr. used to  ‘doubt’ Christianity and the resurrection of Jesus Christ up until the age of 13. It was not until he found many ‘profound truth’ in the bible that he started to go radical for it. (wow, I’m not the only “bad” pastor’s kid :p)

he took his faith a million step further since then, by understanding how God the Creator sees human as equally precious as one another, and by turning this understanding into an action when the world  desperately needed someone to stand up for equality.

as a result? his house was bombed twice, his family received death threats, imprisonment (he was jailed 12 times), assassination…and…..

……a crown of glory in Heaven, a fulfilled dream, a legacy, and a better world.

 see, a true King demonstrates power through love.  a true King serves.

————————

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness. only light can do that

Hate cannot drive out hate. only LOVE can do that”

Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty. I am Free at last.

Happy dr. King’s day everyone may you dream like the King today.

Jay and Bey are only two among other celebs who name their child ‘Blue’ (Alicia Silverstone named her baby Bear Blue, U2 guitarist The Edge named his daughter Blue Angel, Cher named her son Elijah Blue).

in the 60s, the legendary Harlem gangster Frank Lucas named his top-selling heroin ‘Blue Magic’, representing a 100% pure drugs that turns blue when you put some chemical to it.

how do I know these things again? right, research :p

anyways, the color blue for me though, represents peace, serenity, and coolness.

it also represents the breathtaking richness of Moluccan’s underwater world.

1.6 metric tons of fresh fish per year. only 300,000 explored (mostly for international trading, such as premium class tuna fishes that are shipped straight to L.A every few months, packed and shipped under the ownership rights of a Japanese company). yes, the big eastern blue pond has been underrated even till today, sadly by its own country.

the maritime province has only got 12 seaports that severely need to be revitalized (the local government promised to do something about it last year though, source : republika).

as the only present day example of ocean basin closure as a result subduction of oceanic lithosphere in two opposite directions (source : list of sea.com), Moluccan Sea deserves a better treatment and EXPOSURE. and it’s up to us to represent it, Moluccans. cause it’s our own 21st-century blue magic.

“Blue magic, that’s a brand name. I stand behind it, even when they don’t know me anymore…” – Jay-z (Blue Magic, OST. American Gangster)

*photos courtesy of Chello Pelamonia photography & Anna Soetarso

according to the Maluku government’s official website, the nickname is given for the large number of kingdoms and settlements that were established all over the islands of Molucca back in the days, including Arab, China (Tang Dynasty), Sumatra (Sriwijaya Kingdom), East Java (Majapahit Kingdom), Portuguese, Spanish, and of course the 2-century ruler, the Netherlands.

(map by William Blaeu)

Molucca was like this metropolitan where many settlers fought their way all the way there to get precious spices like clove, nutmeg, and mace. the breathtaking beauty of its nature, the blue sea, the ever-rich underwater sites — it was obvious to many, that Molucca was destined to be an Eastern Paradise.

I believe Molucca is a sleeping tourism beast. and I, among other fellow-Moluccans, am determined to do anything I can, no matter how small it is (even as simple as making blogposts) to wake him up.

the world ain’t seen nothing yet!

(photos courtesy of Anna Soetarso & Grace Herjawan)

LOL.

source :  geek peek .

Money?

many are enslaved by it yes, sell their souls even for it yes.  but what good can it do to a human being today? this era where global economic crisis is happening right this second in one part of the world, while billions of dollars are spent on drugs, prostitution, and war in another part of the world? not to mention rich-ass people who’ve been committing suicide, frustrated because the emptiness they feel from the excess of money but lack of love. but wait..

Love?  Trust? Commitment?

these beautiful things we see in box office movies, we hear in hit ballads, we read about in best-selling novels — are they that valuable in the world today? with the divorce rate that keeps on hiking up the statistics everywhere around the world. not to mention cheating games in relationships that most of us have experienced (maybe more than once in the last few years) or even participated in because of songs with lyrics like ‘u got what it takes to make me leave my man’ as if it’s a quality to be proud of, and of course the growing endorsement on the crappy yet popular ‘if you’re not cheating, you’re a pussy’ philosophy among men AND women these days —> I don’t think so. violating trust, breaking up a commitment, jumping in to a commitment too fast (this too, is irresponsible) — it all shows how low human value LOVE today. the world only wish they could still find love as true and valuable. but they couldn’t. too weak to man up for such mature thing that is way more than emotions and butterflies, even sex. (I ain’t judging, been there too).

What is left then?  what is still worth it? can we still uphold anything? expect anything to hold on to, pursue, and nurture in this world filled with temporary cover-ups?

none but our Maker, I tell ya. when you got Him in your life, the rest is just bonus.

your disbelief won’t change this fact. your doubts, your ignorance won’t shake Him. He’d still be faithful.

I almost lose my hope for humanity, but when I looked up to the sky this morning. I know He’s watching me.and when I look in the mirror, I know a part of Him is instilled in me, as His creation.

friends, family, and lovers come and go. money come and go. but His love won’t.

thank you for coming 2000 years ago. thank you for the most wonderfully loving  holiday of the year that the world can’t deny. thank you for you. I know who to put my hopes in.

“There is no better lost than to lose myself in you. Surrender has somehow become so beautiful” – Control by Mutemath

As I put on my orange nail polish this morning, I was reading this post on writing letter to your 16 year-old self (inspired by the book Dear Me : a letter to 16 Year Old Me – contributed by celebs like Yoko Ono & Sir Elton John!!  )

and it inspired me to write this post that I’d like to title “Dear End of 2010 Me” .

I’ve always been writing the highlights of my years in the form of reflective journals. and it’s good. but this posting makes it even more interesting! get ready to start writing yours, after reading mine.

Dear End of 2010 Debora,

Aaw honey, wipe those tears from your eyes. Yes, yes, you’re devastated after realizing that you’ve been a fool for the whole year. It’s okay. You’ll be better in 2011. The quit-smoking resolution wouldn’t be as easy as you think, but you’ll get there somehow! 

Oh and your plan to go to New York for a short course on film? apply ASAP! don’t give up just because you can’t enroll in January. they have a summer session in NYU! yes, the university you’ve always wanted to go to. Remember, the enrollment starts in May, so you better apply in January, get all the documents ready, and resign from your work in April. It’s a pretty crazy decision. but just go for it. trust your instinct. People will tell you that you’re crazy, but trust me, going to New York this year would be so worth it!

but before you leave Jakarta. don’t forget to brush off all the unnecessary burdens from the past. draw a clear line between you and your previous lover. you know where your going, but he doesn’t. so let him know, that you know you’re not meant to be with him. for real.some jerks will try to get in your way. some from the past will still tempt you.  you’d fall for one of them in March at a party, but that’s okay. cause somehow, that night wouldn’t go so smoothly, so that’s your cue to take a bow and leave. 

the summer in New York would be life-changing, as you’d pictured it would be. the NYU dorm room is small, but nice. get to know Frankie, he’s an awesome security officer. don’t spend too much money on trying to buy organic milk, they’re yucky. and don’t get intimidated by NYU snobs in your class. you’ll Ace your classes. you might feel a little lonely at first, but after a while, you’ll get to know some awesome Indonesian friends who would take you to places like Six Flags in New Jersey and even Atlantic City! you’ll go to awesome dubstep parties (just a tip, mind your belongings at ALL times! especially when you’re in a gypsy cab with a french-speaking ivory coast native driver — or else you’ll lose your blackberry!!).

you’d want to extend your stay, but your parents would want you to go back home, which is fine. because going back to indo would get you closer to your dream.

readjusting yourself with Jakarta life wouldn’t be so hard. it’s adjusting to your new habits and replacing the old ones that would be hard. but you can handle it you’re strong enough, more than you know. you would get a taste of working in one of the country’s most prestigious TV stations to work for, and again, though you’d want to extend your contract and work as a full-time producer, their system won’t let you, and that’s cool. cause another job is waiting for you.

remember that class you took back in 2008 on advertising? where professor Mike Whittle mentioned the agency Saatchi & Saatchi?  you’ll get a job offer from its sister company. don’t worry, though inexperienced, you’d still get a chance! again, trust your guts. and moreover trust God, cause that’s what this year is all about.

anyways. you couldn’t and shouldn’t forget about the people you’ve worked with in the radio, cause a few of them will team up with you to realize your life-long dream : yes, making a movie. though it’s a short series posted only on youtube, it would epic. just go for it and take risks.

oh and your Ford Escape that mom confiscated  on November 2010?  you’ll get it back. (it was supposed to be your homecoming surprise, but yeah, I know you’d like some spoilers!).

last but definitely not least. though being in a committed relationship is not in your agenda this year, believe it or not, you would end the year being in one!  I know right. just listen to that little voice inside. you’d hesitate at first. don’t feel weird, you’re just protecting your heart, and it’s good. Now I can’t really say much on this, cause it would kill the whole excitement. but all I can say is, he’s someone you knew all along no, no tattoos, not a DJ, not a rockstar. he’s a nerd! I know right!

Sincerely,

End of 2011 Debora.

though it seems shallow, the thought of ‘having to be better, prettier, skinnier, smarter, better in bed, better in everything than other chicks’ creeps in our veins, as women. no matter how many times we say “I’m my own person, I’m perfect the way I am. I’m super confident that I don’t need to be somebody else, I am who I am”, at least twice a week, I bet the thoughts of insecurities fly around your head like chirping birds who just won’t shut up. (especially during PMS)

we don’t speak of them of course, but they’re there. and it’s normal.

I have a giant lightbulb on my forehead that says “insecurity” too sometimes.

It doesn’t have an on-and-off switch, so we gotta work hard to fight it .

what happened to us in the past, the decisions we’ve made, what we used to tolerate, what others have done or said to us – each of them have helped shaping us into the person that we are today. and it’s our choice to filter them so that they won’t backfire now.

I realize this as I begin to jump into a committed relationship. these thoughts seem to be bugging me. well, I ain’t complaining. it’s the consequence of my past and I’ve accepted that fact.

but hey, that doesn’t mean we have to settle in this state of mind right? we deserve the best and we can never get the best in life, if we don’t see ourselves from the best perspective (that of our Maker, of course).

don’t even dream about loving again, if you can’t even love yourself the way God loves you.

you’ll end up in the endless pity-partying session that would generate jealousy, being overprotective, being nagging, being negative, and lastly, you’ll end up losing yourself.

okay maybe not as insecure as the picture here. but u get what i’m saying. if you think relationships will solve your personal issues, honey, it magnifies them instead! and you have to deal with it urself, so you won’t drag your partner to a blackhole. you love him too much to do that don’t you?

I used to cover up my insecurities by being cocky. that didn’t do, I’m telling you.being a cocky bitch made it worse. cause the reason we, cocky bitches usually boast on to kill our insecurities is how many men lust over us.

dude, that’s actually low.

I, myself, didn’t do it deliberately, I did it even without realizing it. and I’m not ashamed to say I did cause I learned from it.

now, I’ve put it all behind me. I want to run forward, see myself the way my maker sees me. because doing so transforms us from the inside. and when you’re transformed, you would love differently you’re gonna be the best lover that you can be. better than Juliette, better than Rose Dawson, better than Bella Swan without even trying

boom baby. that’s what’s up.

“What I’m trying to say is we should marry a friend. Romance may birth a friendship, and that’s OK, but we better make sure we marry the person we like to talk to, because marriage isn’t an unending series of orgasms. Marriage is an unending series of conversations” - Russ Masterson

]]> http://justlikemozarella.wordpress.com/2011/11/29/what-you-dont-learn-from-bella-and-edward/feed/ 0 justlikemozarella o http://justlikemozarella.wordpress.com/2011/11/29/war-of-moms/ http://justlikemozarella.wordpress.com/2011/11/29/war-of-moms/#comments Tue, 29 Nov 2011 06:54:56 +0000 justlikemozarella http://justlikemozarella.wordpress.com/?p=870 ]]> I am almost certain that any single girl in her early-twenties has thought about this at least twice –> “What kind of mom do I want to become? “

okay, perhaps, I’ve been spending too much time with women twice my age. or maybe, I just want to start to think about the future. anyways, read along guys.

I grew up in an unconventional family. My mom was not the type that would stay at home, iron the clothes, cook, check on our homeworks, and wait on my dad to come home from work. She was actually the kind that would leave home at the same time that we left for school, and came home right after we took a nap in the afternoon. She would cook every once in a while, attended parents meeting if necessary and all, but she had her own world all along. She looks good everyday, very fashionable even after she hits 50. She’s super active, and I adore her. in my little mind, I wanted to be like her. the Alpha mom. the kinda women I meet everyday at work too.

The Alpha Mom

In the movie I Don’t Know How She Does It, Sarah Jessica Parker depicts the kind of mom I’d like to call the Alpha-mom. they aim to be number 1 in everything! work, family, fashion, health, everything! of course they have to face their complaining in-laws who’d prefer a stay-at-home housewife for their son instead of a workaholic superwoman-wannabe. and that’s totally understandable. Alpha moms also get a lot of criticisms from fellow parents at school, especially when their kids get into trouble. yes, the classic “it’s because the mom’s too busy working and feeding up her ego!”

Many working mothers told me that they’ve tried to be a full-time stay-at-home mom before, and most of them said it’s exhausting and stressing. N, a 30-something mother of two, told me that her marriage got better when she came back to work after being a housewife for 2 years. “I was stressed out! no one to talk to beside my baby, nothing to do besides taking care of him! and when my husband came home, I’d be frustrated and couldn’t communicate well” –> i know, she made it sound so bad. “now after being back to doing a 9-5 job, I’m more at peace and happy, I feel so balanced and my marriage gets better” — wow, really? so is the issue here about balance? distraction? self-fulfillment?

whereas, I, 29 told me that she would be more than happy to be a stay-at-home mom, yet she couldn’t because she still has to support her husband. hmm…in this case, she doesn’t really have choice right?

while these women continue to work, whether to fulfill their life-long dream, to support their family financially or simply just to have something to do, there are a new breed of educated young women who choose to leave work and be a full-time mother.

The ‘Opt-Out’ Revolution

Since the 50s, the media has been shaken by the revolutionary trend of educated women who choose to stay home. Articles in New York Times boast on titles like 1953 (“Case History of an Ex-Working Mother”), 1961 (“Career Women Discover Satisfactions in the Home”), 1980 (“Many Young Women Now Say They’d Pick Family Over Career”), 1998 (“The Stay-At-Home Mother”), and the 2003 “The ‘Opt-Out’ Revolution” by Lisa Belkin. These women graduated from Princeton, Columbia Law School, and Harvard. But interestingly, only 16% of them work at major firms. others? you can find them pushing baby strollers around Starbucks with a bag of gym clothes or yoga mats.

well I think these women have the choice. they’re Ivy League graduates,they wouldn’t be married to middle-class men right? they must be married to their fellow Ivy league graduates, or if not some smart ass kid whose grandad owns an oil company or a major retailer chain somewhere. they have this choice of staying at home and taking care of the babies without worrying about the money.

but the issue is deeper than that.

M, a 30-something mother who used to think being a stay-at-home mom equals to “no-life” told me that after giving up her work and staying at home, her perspective has been transformed. she said “my baby IS my life now. and my husband too”. she is blessed to have a husband who can provide for the family, so she couldn’t she any ‘urgent’ reason to stay at work. when I asked her “Why did you choose to be a full-time mom?” she answered boldly, “Being a mother could never be a part-time thing. any job could be done by anyone, but being a child’s mom could only be done by the mother”.

according to the NY times article I’ve linked above, educated women choose to stay at home not only to fulfill her motherhood calling, but to find a higher satisfaction from their passion and dreams because the 9-5 job doesn’t cut it anymore.

some stay at home moms have started to set up online businesses, some have developed baby day-care hubs, and some have even established organic baby food factories.

now this is the kind of mom I want to be! the type who you can reach her dreams while changing diapers and breastfeeding!

yes, she’s the C.E.O, so she could come to work at anytime she wants (in Kimora’s case, she could take her youngest son Kenzo to a yoga class first before going to a major meeting with her suppliers). I mean, how good is that?! you get to work, you get to balance your life, without leaving your babies with some middle-aged nanny you barely even know.

oh and I don’t mean being those dull moms who don’t even know their child’s favorite band because they’re too busy spending their husband’s money at the day spa.

yea, I’m way too much of a daydreamer to be in branded dresses talking at a salon the whole day without doing anything ‘revolutionary’ or ‘creative’.

now all I gotta do is work my butt off, save money, give money away, bring change to the industry somehow, take it slow, and….yes, find a wealthy, educated potential husband who’s spiritually whole. who’s a visonary and good in bed and… okay it’s an unending list hahaha. well let’s start by making the most of what we have now, the rest will fall into place. we, early twenties women are super blessed. it’s our time to blossom

well, you know that thing called ‘shared playlist’ on iTunes?

that’s what I’ve been spending my spare time on at work. checking out people’s playlist (without knowing who they are in real life).

and amazingly, I got introduced to some cool tracks that I’m about to share with you too check them out!

More Than Friends by Estelle

She doesn’t have a middle name that resembles a sweet soda drink for nothin. Estelle Fanta Swaray has got this sweet and soulful flavor in her songs. She can sing and rap, she sang in a Kanye track that’s still banging parties everywhere. and she’s British! Stole this song from a working mother’s playlist, cause it makes me kinda want to say ‘let’s be more than friends’

Psychotic Girl by The Black Keys

Having faced a LOT of psychotic girls over the past few years (actually, I was one, at one point in my life), the title of this floaty blues track by the American rock duo caught my attention.

they won 3 Grammy’s this year, for Best Rock Performance by Duo or Group, Best Alternative Album, and Best Recording Package. This track was stolen from a girl’s playlist. I don’t know her at all, I’m not sitting anywhere near her either. I’m guessing she’s an ex employer. haha. well, whoever she is. this track is dope!

Monster by Kanye West ft. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj, & Bon Iver

you can never have too much artist in your track. especially in your comeback album! Kanye proves by collaborating with Beyonce’s baby daddy and mogul husband, not to mention rap legend, Jay-z, the boss Rick Ross, the multi-personality Trinidadian La Guardia performing arts-graduate Nicki Minaj, and of course Justin Vernon’s folk band, Bon Iver. People say he’s racist for putting black and white models being murdered and murderous in the video. for me, it’s a good fuck-you-and-your-crew track. whoever she is, we can tell that the girl listening to this in her playlist is no stranger to ROC nation.

Carols of the Bells (Home Alone OST)

This track always gives me goosebumps. Think of those two jerks who tried to kidnap Kevin! haha. if you were raised in the 90s, you must’ve watched this movie at least twice! it’s in the theatres, aired on televisions years after that, and it’s on DVD’s too. Home Alone 2, in particular, was the movie that introduced me to the most sung-about, talked-about, and filmed about city of all time, New York.

the girl’s playlist definitely got me in my December mood. wish I could drag the track to my iPod.

Feeling You, Feeling Me by Alicia Keys

I love this song! Overheard someone played it yesterday and I’ve been looking for my Diary of Alicia Keys CD all over my room. This album reminds me of my highschool years, being a shy loner who got so much love to give but too oblivious to even consider doing so.

the 1 minute and 25 second-song has only got 4 lines :  “Two hour conversation on the telephone, can’t get you out of my mind. tell me are you feeling me, feeling you. everything you say, everything you do gets me lost at a day at a time. tell me are you feeling me, feeling you”. a quiet sexiness. the guy who owns this playlist got good taste! and he must be quite sensitive (or his cool girlfriend made him this playlist, he got beyonce, depapepe, john mayer, and the who). the one I link to the title is the pro-longed 8 minute version made by some youtube dude.